> 1. No matter what she says, the sexy-sounding girl on the request line who
> wants to do the wild thing with you is fat, ugly and under age.
>
> 2. If you give your girl friend/boyfriend the hotline number, she/he will
> always call when the PD is trying to reach you.
>
> 3. No matter how long the song, your bathroom break is just a little longer.
>
> 4. If you give away a prize to the 10th caller, the 9th will always think
> you're screwing him.
>
> 5. If your General Manager likes the way the station is sounding, you're in
> trouble.
>
> 6. If your local record rep likes the way the station is sounding, you're
> really in trouble.
>
> 7. To the air staff, the sales department is a necessary evil.
>
> 8. To the sales department, the air staff isn't necessary.
>
> 9. Any engineering adjustments are always made during your shift.
>
> 10. Your headsets are missing, but there's no thief in the station.
>
> 11. No matter how long the intro to the song, it isn't long enough to get
> every bit of your "way cool break" before the vocal.
>
> 12. The commercial that runs twice overnight on Sunday is the same one you
> had to cut six different times before the client was satisfied with the
> "read."
>
> 13. A salesperson who says he "pays your salary" doesn't like to be told,
> "Get off your ass and sell something so I can get a raise."
>
> 14. Most record reps "used to be" great programmers.
>
> 15. 19 out of 20 requests are for the song currently playing.
>
> 16. 19 out of 20 callers don't know the title or the artist, but it's their
> favorite song. And it's about love and has "baby" in it somewhere.
>
> 17. Songs that end cold ALWAYS catch you off guard.
>
> 18. Your original, great idea has been done somewhere else before. Probably
> twice. And always better.
>
> 19. No matter how hot you think you are, the same caller is hitting on the
> overnight intern. (see #1)
>
> 20. A picture accompanying a resume is absolutely, positively
> irrelevant...unless she's really good looking.
>
> 21. The song that skips will always come up on your air shift. (and when
> you're out on a restroom break)
>
> 22. No air check is ever done on a clean tape. Everyone uses an air check
> tape from a recent job applicant.
>
> 23. You can do 99% of your breaks perfectly and screw up only one.  Which
> do you think the PD will hear?
>
> 24. A GREAT promotion turns to shit as soon as a client is attached.
>
> 25. Most contest callers have no idea what they're calling in to win.
>
> 26. Chances are the new car in the parking lot does not belong to anyone on
> the air staff.
>
> 27. If you bring a drink into the control room (against the edict of every
> memo that's ever been written), no matter how careful you are, you will
> spill it on the board.
>
> 28. When you have a really hot date, your relief jock is always late.
>
> 29. Nothing is scarier than hearing your Top of the Hour Show Intro while
> you're in the car on the way to the station.
>
> 30. Every jock's ultimate goal is to have sex while they're on the air.
> This is why most jocks  are frustrated. They never reach that ultimate goal.
>
> 31. Show prep is getting into the control room before the last song fades.
>
> 32. Why do most jocks fear time off? 95 out of 100 jobs are lost while
> you're on vacation.
>
> 33. No matter how many times you've been turned down for the big gig, you
> know you're better than all the jocks in New York or LA.
>
> 34. Hawaii? Las Vegas? Sure, we'll play it.
>
> 35. Bad ratings are never accurate. Either Arbitron's methodology can't be
> trusted or it was a bad drop. Unless, of course, the book is up. Then it's
> right on track.
>
> 36. Just when you think you have the most ignorant listeners, one will tell
> you how great you sound. (see #19)
>
> 37. 85% of all radio station owners are cheap.
>
> 38. 15% of all radio station owners spend money because they're trying to
> sell the station.
>
> 39. When the owner calls a meeting to tell everyone the station isn't for
> sale... IT IS! This is particularly true if pizza is served at the meeting.
>
> 40. No matter what you heard, nobody ever gets laid in the prize van.
>
> 41.  The minute you lose your MD or PD position, the record reps seem to
> forget "who their buddy" is.
>
> 42.  There's one guy who's been at the station for too long "that has just
> given up and should move on".  If you don't know someone like that - it's
> you.
>
> 43.  Somebody on the staff is doing someone else on the staff.
>
> 44.  You'll get the same requests for the same songs night after night on
> your "all request show."
>
> 45.  EVERYONE in the building knows you are being fired before you do.
>
> 46.  You'll get a better reaction out of the listener who wins a CD than
> the listener who wins $100.
>
> 47.  If you haven't pulled a song off the air while it's playing, that
> doesn't mean you're a bad ass - it'll happen, trust me.
>
> 48.  Anyone who went to school to do radio wasted their time and money.
>
> 49.  You are always paid less than you are worth - deal with it.
>
> 50.  (addendum to #1) - If she's got the time to call you - she's not worth
> your time - AND her roommate is ALWAYS hotter!